Art & Healing

"Surrender" by Judy Smoot, November 2012

"Every human being has the capacity to be creative … it is the wondrous creative process, rather than the ultimate product, that is significant." ~ Expressive Artist Natalie Rogers, The Creative Connection

Since 2006 I have been drawn to the value of creative expression in bringing wholeness and spiritual healing to people, especially in times of transition when words seem to fall short of communicating the full story.  Since January 2013, I have been engaged in an intense program of study through Expressive Arts Florida Institute based in Sarasota.  Not to be confused with art therapy which has its roots in psychology and often results in analysis of the completed art expression (which can be very helpful in a therapeutic setting), expressive arts utilizes all creative art forms (visual art, clay, fabric, poetry, sculpture, gardening, weaving, movement, music, sound …) to provide opportunity for life change.  The individual who creates the "art" is the one responsible for discerning how to apply it to their life.  There is no judgment, analysis, evaluation, critique, etc.  The trained expressive artist practitioner simply provides the tools and the safe space in which the process can unfold.

Here is a simple process you might experience for yourself adapted from the book Visual Journaling by Barbara Ganim and Susan Fox.  Use a large sheet of plain paper and whatever art materials you have on hand.  I like the rich color and ease of use of oil pastels.  Crayons, markers, and color pencils will work as well.  Allow yourself about 30 minutes at the most for this process and ensure some quiet, private space where you can create without interruption.   It may help for you to have soft instrumental music playing in the background and, perhaps, a lit candle to mark this time as special.  Take some deep breaths and bring yourself to this present moment.  Begin to notice any colors, shapes or images that come to your awareness without taking so long that you "paint" a complete picture in your mind then try to capture it on the paper.  Instead, when you are ready, simply begin to put marks on the page in response to whatever emotion you are experiencing in that moment.  You are not depicting a scene so much as a felt sense.  Allow the color(s) you use to choose you in some fashion (what you are drawn to without putting too much thought into it) and allow your arm to move across the page.  Some prefer to stand while they do this.  If you do that, find a way to place your paper on the wall or on a tall table or countertop so you can move more freely as you create.  Your end result will be somewhere between an image as the one above and a page of black scribbles.  It all belongs. 

When you feel finished, allow yourself to gaze at your image for a few minutes with a journal or piece of paper with you.  Is there a title that comes to mind?  If so, write down the title.  Ask your drawing what it desires to tell you and write down its responses.  You might begin with the journal prompts "I am", "I bring", "What I have to tell you is" or anything along those lines.  Remember, this is for your own insight.  There is no expectation and no "right" answer.  Sometimes our images do not have anything to say in the moment they are created. If that is the case, return to it on another day.  The beauty of working with non-verbal creative expressions is that their message is not static - it can change from day to day.

If you engage in this process, email me at director@myawba.org and let me know how it was for you.  As we move into 2015, you will begin to see more focused expressive arts opportunities in many of our AWBA programs.   Let me know what you might be interested in.  Visit the link for Visual Journaling if you are curious to explore this on your own.  This is an excellent resource for self-exploration and is something we may consider for an AWBA program in the future if there is sufficient interest.  So,  do let me know your thoughts :)

If you are a professional or volunteer in the helping profession, I will offer a two-part workshop through the Wellstreams program regarding the use of expressive arts for those interested in incorporating expressive arts into their ministry or service with others.   "An Experience of Expressive Arts for Spiritual Directors and Those in Helping Professions will be offered on Wednesdays, March 18 and 25, 7:00-9:15 p.m. at the Martin DePorres Center in Columbus, Ohio.  If you have questions, contact me  at director@myawba.org or visit the Wellstreams Calendar to register.  Because of the nature of this workshop, space is limited so early registration is encouraged.

Making Room For Hope

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces I would still plant my apple tree." ~~ Martin Luther  

This quote found its way to me a few days ago.  It succinctly puts into one sentence a myriad of emotions, wonderings, and thoughts that are overwhelming me as this year comes to a close.  I appreciate the metaphor of crossing thresholds from the past into the new and not yet discovered.  It is scary and exciting.  It is how we grow.  However, at the same time, I am living in the midst of challenges in my own life as well as in the lives of those about which I care deeply.   I am standing in an uncertain "gap" space holding incredible joys and very painful sadnesses not knowing quite where to plant my feet on the threshold of this year.  In recent weeks, I have been very intentional about waking early and beginning my days with extended prayer, journaling, art, reading, etc. just to keep some sense of connection with the Holy in such an uncertain time.  Many of you have shared your stories with me about being in a similar place and I know that others in the AWBA community may relate to this very gentle, tender, thin space that we occupy at times.

I believe deeply in the prospect of hope when everything around me seems to be broken or in conflict - in my own small community as well as in the larger world.  I believe deeply in the prospect of beginning again when everything inside of me says, "No, not again.  It takes too much work.  Why can't I coast for a while???"  I believe deeply in planning for tomorrow even though I am often reminded there is no promise I will have a tomorrow.  It is certainly a different way of living and can seem to go against any kind of reality check, logic, scientific evidence -- whatever you want to call the thinking brain process. 

How are we to choose life when captured by the reality of expanding brokenness, call up energy when personal exhaustion is a daily experience, and/or plan for tomorrow when today is not looking so great?

I believe that the answer lies within the power of community.  When people choose together to "plant their apple tree" in the very moment in which God invites a resounding "Yes!" from us, we gain strength and energy from those around us making their own life-giving choices.  When we consider that our community also includes the "cloud of witnesses" -- those, like Martin Luther, who have gone before us and have shown us how to persevere, we have a large community indeed.

The AWBA Community is about planting apple trees even when the next day is uncertain.  So, in the midst of my own weariness, uncertainty, joys, griefs, loss, big dreams for the future, I plant my own apple tree firmly in the ground and invite you to do the same.  

As you stand on the threshold to come in this new year, what might your "apple tree" look like? What would it mean for you to plant it firmly in the ground of your reality?  Who can you share with to support you in that process?  Who can you support as they plant something of importance in their own life?

Thank you for sharing this AWBA journey with me, with our faithful Board of Directors, and with those we serve.  This community is growing and there is new life taking root in each of you that offer your presence here.  

Choose Life

I received this picture yesterday standing on my front porch.  Those following our blog and Facebook may notice the view.  It is a favorite of mine.  It is a stunning view in the snow (see a recent Facebook blessing) and doubly beautiful in spring, summer and fall.  As I head toward winter, however, it is hard to see the same beauty in such barren trees.   I appreciate the truth of winter -- a time of rest and hibernation to prepare the earth and its creatures for the new life that spring promises.  I also know the same invitation exists in our human lives -- a time for rest and more stillness than usual, and staying indoors when the dark, cold and icy elements forbid much travel.  The slowness and hibernation prepares the way for the aliveness of spring and the months that will come.  Every season carries it own purpose in maintaining the balance.

But "real life" gets in the way of us humans doesn't it?  Nature and its creatures don't have much choice but to follow the instructions of the seasons.  We humans, however, do have a choice and can ignore the whole concept.  Those with children must transport them to their myriad activities regardless of the elements and 5 pm night sky.  The many people who work outside their home most often depart home and return with the darkness greeting them at both ends.   Our son is an adult and I work from home so what has happened to the rest, stillness and hibernation that I promised myself would begin at the beginning of December????  No excuses for me.  I, alone, am responsible for answering that question.  There is no use beating myself up, and I hope that you do not engage in that hopeless battle when you realize you are running too fast and in too many directions.

For me, it comes back to the wisdom of one of my favorite Bible passages from Deuteronomy 30 that counsels, 

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  

Now choose life …"

I know the easy choices for myself to ensure that I choose life and blessing.  It is the small, less easily identified places that threaten a life-giving choice.  When the day is cold and dreary with off and on drizzle (today), a list of things to do that borders on impossible nags at me throughout the day, and I carry the sadness of quite a few people, how do I "choose life" in those circumstances??  Do I eat a piece of chocolate?  I don't think so (I may succumb but that is not choosing life.  Sorry, comfort food eaters!). I had to stop myself mid-afternoon today to ask that question and take responsibility for making some tough choices for how I will invest my time for the remainder of this week.  I feel a bit better having better identified my Sacred Yes and Sacred No that will result in a couple of life-giving choices.  Perhaps, it is more difficult to choose life in the dark winter months.  Perhaps, it is more difficult to choose life when no one would blame you for not doing so.

How about you?  If you are one living with a chronic diagnosis, what does it mean to choose life when you receive another medical bill that yanks the home purse strings even tighter?  If you are caring for someone, what does it mean to choose life when your loved one has  made the same request of you ten times and does not remember your answer?  If you are a volunteer or professional who serves this population, what does it mean to choose life as you are ready to go home when a client in distress knocks at your door?  It is hard and we each do it differently.

One of the deep sadnesses that I have carried these few days is the passing last week of one of our founding board members.  John Cronin was at the first brainstorming meeting before there was a mission statement, board of directors, website, blog, checking account or money to help us get this ministry off the launchpad.  He has served us so faithfully these years and helped put flesh on the bones of a God-sized idea.  His passion for AWBA's mission and his dedication to his role as a board member was invaluable.  I often received emails from him at the moment I most needed a word of encouragement and counsel to keep me focused on what we were to be about.  My husband and I go back 25 years with John and it made sense to invite him to join me on this wild ride of God's design.  He has been a special friend to both of us for different reasons.  For my birthday this year, he wrote me a song to the tune of "Hey Jude" telling me not to be afraid for AWBA and to remember that we always begin again.  John was the picture of choosing life.   I will miss his voice that often spoke to me in the hard times.

So in the midst of grief, weariness with too much to do and not enough time, and concerns for many I love, I am working this week to choose life and to begin again. It has not come easily but there has been clarity for those choices and I have chosen them.  I invite you to do the same and to remember that this growing AWBA community encourages you to always choose life, to always remember the invitation to begin again each day, and to know with a deepening assurance that the Holy One companions you with strength and with tenderness in the most uncertain of places.

We ask your prayers for John's family, friends and colleagues who will miss his physical presence.   May we trust that John's spirit continues on in the love shared and expressed to others through his lovely wife, young daughter, siblings and family; through the music ministry that will continue to honor him at his church; through the work that will continue through his co-workers that ensures justice for all; and for AWBA, the ministry he helped plant for those in deep need as they walk the path of chronic diagnosis.  

One life makes a difference.  Remember that truth when you wake up tomorrow morning.  Choose life and begin again to make a difference.    

Creative Expression

First, I must apologize for not posting at all in October.  As we grow our presence on Facebook, Linked In, and our monthly newsletter, I sometimes lose track of what I have posted where.  That being said, I do want to share with you about the month of October... 

I attended my next to last set of classes for Expressive Arts.  True to the school's word, "intensive", it was an intensive focus on the business and organizational side of each student's expressive arts practice as each prepares to complete the program and put it to work in their world.  I still have a final class series to attend in January, followed by a six-week internship beginning in February, and a portfolio review that will complete this 2+ year learning process.  The use of movement, music, sound, visual art, poetry, collage, clay, painting, fiber, etc. continues to speak to me as it supports those impacted by a chronic diagnosis --  as the one diagnosed, a loved one in the 24/7 support role, and the professional and volunteers serving this population.  To have a means of expression for the emotions and feelings beneath the words is such a gift.  Myself, along with a few of my expressive arts colleagues, look forward to exploring this in more depth through AWBA in the coming months.

Tangent to that, AWBA had three great October/November experiences with Touch Drawing.  The four-session pilot program targeted to those with Parkinson's was wonderful.  The feedback was positive and most were surprised at the impact it had on their overall well-being during the time they were drawing.  One caregiver identified it as his "chill pill."  Two individuals shared that they were hesitant to come and were so glad that they did.  The field of expressive arts is better "experienced" than "explained."  It is often the simplest of creative experiences that yield the best results.

Our retreat/fund raiser at Gilgal Farm raised over $800 for our 2015 programs while a full room of participants engaged in Touch Drawing and visited with the horses at Gilgal.  Two people even set up their space in the horse barn itself and had one horse do a bit of touch drawing with her nose :)  Plans are underway for another retreat/fund raiser in the spring.   Stay tuned for that if you missed the October retreat and/or want a repeat!

Lastly, we were asked to visit a local Parkinson's Support Group to share Touch Drawing with their group.  Since time was limited this was presented as an introduction and demonstration.  The group worked together to create three drawings as the board was passed from person to person for each to make their mark.  One gentleman shared that he was "looking for the door" when the demonstration began.  He gave it a try and was surprised by how much he enjoyed the experience.   There was laughter as scribbles, squishes and pounding took place.  Play time and healing time for everyone.

Because of confidentiality, it is often a challenge to have pictures to remember the day.  But, here are  a few from the retreat day at Gilgal.

One participant framed his Touch Drawing board.  Beautiful.

The room is ready for a full house!

Such a simple process.

Touch Drawing in the horse barn.

Taking a break to visit with the horses.

When the day feels hard ...

There is a small, country church that I often drive by when running errands.  Since last week, its sign has read, "Life is hard.  Look up."  Honestly, I somewhat discounted the message with thoughts along the lines of, "I already know to look to God when things are hard."  I pretty much ignored the fact that it might have something new to say to me today.  Yesterday, without recalling the sign's literal meaning, I looked up.  These past few days and nights in Ohio have been absolutely stunning.  Cerulean blue sky, a wisp of cloud here and there, leaves beginning to break open their color box ~ truly take-your-breath-away moments.  

While my personal circumstances seem to clicking along in a kind and gentle way at the moment, any quick peek at the international news breaks my heart and can give way to moments of deep sadness and  helplessness of "what can I do"?  It seems there is always "something" just not right.  It may be a hardship in your own life, in the life of someone you love, in your immediate community, and, often, in the larger world in which we are all intimately connected in ways we often miss. 

Life is hard.  Look up.  Really.  Today, get outdoors wherever you are and in whatever environment in which you find yourself today.  Take a moment to look up.  Look out.  Look down.  This planet Earth is our home.  The Holy One created it for us.  The beauty is there, even on the darkest of days.  Take a moment to soak in Creation and deeply breathe.  That Sabbath moment invites us back to center to move through our day feeling just a bit more grounded and held in a holy embrace.

If you are photography nut as I am (amateurs included, as I am!!!), send a .jpg to me at director@myawba.org of your moment.  Simply provide your first name and your general location.  I will post these to share with others in another week or so.

Here is mine to get you started …

Judy, an early morning in Southeastern Ohio

Friday Blessings on Facebook

If this blog is your primary means of connection with AWBA, we want to make you aware of a new offering on Facebook.  You can find us on Facebook at "Always We Begin Again".  From our most recent newsletter (you can receive this monthly news by providing your name and email on the home page of our website at www.myawba.org):


In his book To Bless the Space Between Us, author John O'Donohue writes in the introduction, 

"It would be infinitely lonely to live in a world without blessing.  The word blessing evokes a sense of warmth and protection; it suggests that no life is alone or unreachable.  Each life is clothed in raiment of spirit that secretly links it to everything else.  Though suffering and chaos befall us, they can never quench that inner light of providence."

When we make the decision to begin again as one impacted by a chronic condition, this act of blessing seems a critical piece of our support system in making that daily and, sometimes moment to moment, choice for a new beginning.  Recently, AWBA began posting a brief quote, an image, and a blessing on its Facebook page every Friday morning.  The instant response indicated by likes, shares and new followers told us there are some seeking a sense of blessing.  If a "Friday Blessing" would support your journey, visit our Facebook page and follow us for this weekly blessing if you are not already doing so.  You can also access our page by clicking the Facebook icon on our website at www.myawba.org.  If you have a favorite quote and/or photo you have taken that you would like us to consider in the future, email it to director@myawba.org.  

Our New Logo

When determining where to place precious financial resources, AWBA has been very intentional about budgeting as much as much as possible directly to our programming.  Keeping our fees within reason for those tending to the unending flow of medical bills has been the best way for us to remain accessible to those we serve.  Your donations have helped tremendously in  that effort.  At the same time, we also appreciate the value of getting our message out in a way that is simple and consistent.   A logo helps identify us within the community we serve.  After almost four full years of ministry, our Board decided it was time to create a logo.   Two donors were generous enough to offer a reduced fee and an in kind donation to make this a reasonable project for AWBA at this time.

When meeting with our design team at Miller Strategic Marketing, their process helped us better identify our brand that resides within our mission and vision statements.  We determined that there are several things the logo needs to communicate:

~ AWBA offers a warm, friendly place where people are accepted just as they are.
~ It’s a friendly place where people can go to catch their breath and build faith and hope.
~ It’s a community of caring individuals who will provide loving support to those with chronic illnesses.

To capture the essence of this brand, the word we chose to “own” is “Community”, and the gate within the logo serves as the entrance to that community.  The team at Miller developed a look and feel to reflect this identity, and to communicate these important points to the public. We believe that the warm, relaxed type font combined with the gate image delivers the look and feel we were going for.   Our full color beloved gate image used up to this point will remain on our website, blog and in other places.  There is much affection for this "secret garden" image and it is our intention that the logo builds on that.

None of this is of any use if we do not deliver on what we desire to accomplish in those points mentioned.  If at any time there is something we can do to provide an even more welcoming community environment as one impacted by a chronic diagnosis,  please let us know.  

Welcome to our new logo.  Over the next few months it will begin to appear in our print materials as well as on the web.  One person noted that she likes the "connection" depicted with the letter "A" touching the "W".   What do you notice?